You know, I'm a relatively patient person with a somewhat long fuse. Now, my wife tells me, I am the opposite when it comes to driving...especially in traffic. I tend to agree. I don't know why, but...all kinds of people piss me off on the roads today. I don't get pissed off enough to stroke out or anything lol...or to even commit an act of vulgar road rage...although admittedly, the thought has come to mind at times. This morning, I'm driving to work which is about a 4-5 mile stint and I come to my first red light to make a left turn. It's pouring rain, which often elicits the stupidity of many a driver. Well what do you know. A lovely silver Toyota Prius is sitting at the light in front of me...now I'm not running late per say, but I do like to get in the drive-thru at the local Tim Hortons (if you haven't tried their coffee...it's laced with something I swear) before everyone and their cousin's half-brother gets their which is at about 7:45 A.M. It's 7:41 AM at this time. Light turns green. <wait> 1...2...3...3.5.. WTF! GO!! GO!!! <gives a quick stab at the horn....nothing...damn horn...GO!!!....Presses horn fully now....BEEEEP! Wow, apparently, I woke 'her' up...she pulls into the intersection turning left at a rate that would get embarrass a handicapped sloth. Ok, this is ridiculous...I'm turning behind her and start eyeing which of the two lanes I am going to select to blow by her noting how slippery the roads are with balding F1's...<deciding...deciding...eeeek...more frustration..and I haven't even had my coffee yet> Evidently, this 'Slothovaprius' specimen is also legally blind and the letter from her doctor hasn't reached the DMV yet. The medical suspension of her license is caught in bureaucratic red tape. Ugh. She doesn't know which lane is best to drive in so she chooses the path of least intelligence and decides ambiguity is best for her this morning...you got it..in the middle. Thinking, she would eventually choose the appropriate lane (which should have been on her left to begin with) before the next red light about 225 yards ahead, was optimistic to say the least. <Should I beep the horn, or will this cause this tiny pathetic creature to swerve erratically into a pole? Screw it...BEEEEP!!!> Damn...nothing. Still in the middle lane (in her own mind)....sheesh. Someone...remind me to visit AutoAnything and buy that train horn...or better yet, the General Lee horn WOOT! lol. WOW....a god forsaken miracle...she chooses a lane...albeit still the wrong one...the left. Hasn't she learned that slower moving vehicles should switch over and drive in the right lane lol?? <Must be those early days in the Govt. as a driver examiner that brought me to this I think> Finally, my opportunity presents itself...I put significant pressure on my favorite pedal...and WHHHHOOOOP....blow by her..but not without startle as the tail fishes a tad...<thank you ESP...I knew you were there for some reason lol> Ahhhhhhh, much better I think as I see that annoying little creature disappearing in my rear-view...not unlike many a competitor during my 11 month ownership of this bullit. WTF!!??!! Dammit. Red light. <looking in side view mirror to the left> Oh snap! Here she comes, crawling up beside me in the left lane. Yup, Miss Worstcasescenario has reared her ugly head on me again. <wow...deju vu can really suck lol> They say, humility can crumble even the strongest of men...I SUCK...if I wasn't a law-abiding citizen I would have sped to make the damn light and may have been able to eek out the yellow. I had time to stop though....even in the rain. Sheepishly, I gaze over to my left to see what Act of God has left me sitting at the red beside a vehicle I soooo detest and a driver that I would've loved to have FAILED on a road test a decade ago... Hmmm....there IS some substance to vehicle-profiling <secretly hoping Momo will chime in lol> What we have here is....a failure..to communicate...a very very small but younger Pakistani woman with glasses (of course) pressed up to the steering wheel about as close as humanly possible with the line of sight just barely making it over the ugly-ass dashboard...but under the top of the steering wheel (judging from my insconspicuous glances of disdain)... ...and what do you know...the usual suspect. Never even a millisecond of a glance back from her. Straight ahead...just as she was taught by her 3rd rate driving school back in the day...yup..tunnel vision. But perhaps she was aware of her own insanity...making her conclusively sane then...no?? Maybe she was overting her gaze to the road since the mighty 6.1 may have startled her as well as my horn honks. Maybe she was leaving for work herself but started at 10 AM and wanted to get there early...she probably didn't give a F**K. Ironically, she speeds off as I trail that silver POS with my eyes as it crosses the intersection...BEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!! Damn it all. I know, I know... <as I raise my hand in a "sorry" gesture to the impatient commuter behind me...>"GREEN MEANS GO" There really is something to be said for patience, humility and taking your time... On the bright side...the coffee was good! Mmmmmmm.
I can't agree more with you.... I feel like some people really be out to lunch when it comes to driving. The cell phone, putting on makeup, etc. Pull your a$$ over so I can go sh!t,,,,,,, jay
BEEEEPPPPP!!!! Wake up buddy and go!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! yea at least the coffee was good thats all that matters and i almost ended up with coffee on the keyboard when i got down to the bottom :grin:
You xenophobic, misogynistic, testosterone fueled, frigg'n lout! Great story! Nice write-up. HaaaHAAAA! :thumb3:
H-Man! I feel your pain my friend. My fellow Mexicans drive like they get paid to go 10-20 mph slower than the speed limit, while their kids jump all over the car with no seat belt, stop in the middle of the rode before they turn, no turn signal of coarse, turn right or left from a non turning lane, smile at you and tell you to go ahead as they back up traffic and that is just in a PUCKING parking lot outside WAL-MART! Wait til they hit the freeways baby. Time to get into the wife's Excursion. Come and get some. :muscle:
you guys all need to move to florida if you want to see bad driving at its worst..... specifically orldano...... nothing but grey hairs and tourists...... brutal how bad the driving is here......
I gotta agree with Chris. The drivers in S. FLA. are so horribly bad. Had a nice reminder of it last weekend when I went to visit. It is amazingly different on the other coast of Florida. Really weird. :mad2: :mad2:
HAHA Chris...I always joke with Jason (SRT8bby) that it's time we sent all the bluehair snowbirds down to visit you Floridians and clog up your streets for 6 months.. LMAO...oh I could share a few stories about them too...but that may make me seem like a proponent of ageism as well lol....AND i know, or hope, that I'll be old one day and still have that itchy right foot. Diego, you slay me brotha...Mexican's do that huh? My father-in-law drives like that and my mother-in-law has to slouch down in the seat from embarassment when other drivers wail their horns and shoot them the finger...
Ooo. I LOVE it...reminds me of those days in the 60's....groovy..even though I was born in '72 man. :rock:
Ya, I thought because of Jason's little quotes under his avatar/sig at the OC (eg. if you're not first yer last) that he was playin on the Ricky-Bobby name with SRT8bby...boy was I dumb. :flipout:
