ok first let me start with....AM I GOING F@#$ING CRAZY? i am having a really tuff time with the wife gone right now. we have never been seperated for long periods of time over the last 8 1/2 years. i am not handling this or myself very well.. i am depressed all the time. i cant eat or sleep. i really feel as if i am going crazy. i know alot are going to say " i better get used to it" "this is just the start" "be strong for your daughter" ect. i dont have anyone to talk to, my family is in a different town. i dont really have friends here. its always just jade and myself. i keep my cool around my daughter. i dont let her see me down. i have to keep her happy. but its hard to make one happy when you arent happy. i am completely miserable. i need some major advice
A week after Ron and I celebrated our first anniversary, Ron left for Korea for a year. I went through pretty much the same things you are going through. I had a hard time sleeping. When I did sleep I usually had terrible nightmares. I have never been one to cook for just myself, so I didn't eat much... I didn't want to be at home, that just seemed to make it worse. I did not want to be away from home either!!! It never did get any easier... I just had to find distractions. I felt like I was caught in a whirlwind! It was awful! I started picking up extra shifts at work and staying late or coming in early if needed just to keep myself busy... up until I came up on a report saying I was working to many hours!!! I spent time with one of my friends (her husband was in the Army also)but she had a baby to take care of so her time was limited. The best I can tell you, speaking from my own experiences, is do your best to keep busy! Work on your car, or on another hobby. Focus on Jade! That can be a great distraction for you!! Draw pictures with her or spend a day just coloring with her!! Or, have tea parties... Take her out to drive go carts or something!!! It will keep your mind occuppied! I know that you said that it is diffucult to make someone happy when you are not happy, just spending quality time with her will make her happy!!! It is very clear that she really loves her Dad! What more could a little girl ask for than to spend a day playing with Dad!!! I hope this helps a little! We are all here for you! :friends:
Hang in there...it will get better when you guys get back together. But unfortunately that is part of being in the military. Once you guys get settled at her new duty station. There is always the possibility of deployments.
Not a MS myself....but my best friend is... last year was her husbands first deployment and she did exactly this.... but again like Maureen said, she made the cardinal sin of not keeping busy... her husband is deployed right now again, but shes kept very busy and has been doing great this time.... this doesnt mean you dont miss them...you always miss someone you love when they are gone....but if you have something to keep you occupied you dont let it get to you... plus a key thing is find someone you can talk to and tell them what your feeling... this month alone I have spent more than 23 hours on the phone with my friend....she just needs to talk sometimes so if you have someone whos there for you....its also a help.... Its still gonna suck....but just dont let it consume you... keep your head up buddy....you'll be ok! :friends:
thanks for the advise, i have been trying to come up with new hobbies. when jade isnt keeping me busy, i like to work out and that helps alot. but i over did that and tore my left rotator cuff, so all activities involving alot of movment are out of the question for now. as for people to talk to, i really dont have anyone here in roswell. my family is usually to busy to talk to me for more than a couple minutes aday. and a 5 year old cant really hold a deep conversation haha. i have been taking small road trips on the weekends , just being out of the house helps some. just jade and my car. but then i miss being at home.... i have been trying to pack up for the move, but easily become bored with it and stop.
I hear your pain. I still don't see how my wife did it for so long especially with two rug-rats and all the critters. Try to get a routine where you can have your "me time" if it's working out (after healing), working on the ride, the Forums, etc. Sounds like you don't have too much of an issue with needing more time, just needing something to do with your time. Like Maureen said, the Little One needs more of your attention now that she doesn't have Mommy there as well. Bonding will be a great thing for you both. See if there is something special she wants to do, or hasn't been able to do in the past and when you see her happiness, it will rub off on you. Stay busy is definitely the best thing. Hey, look at it this way, your car and house will never be cleaner! Lol!
Agreed... Billy, you have MORE people with open ears than you give credit for. Hell,m you have my number... Yea, it is difficult for sure. Remember, just think how the wife is feeling. She misses you guys as well. Keep up good spirits and all will eventually work out. It is a new routine for the entire family and the best thing to do is, "Keep Busy". The time will pass quicker than you expect and the family will be under one roof again soon. And I lol'd at your reply to Mains.
Yeah time apart sucks but yeah try and keep busy and before you know it the two of you will be back together. if you need some one to talk to paula and i are here.
