Being MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If any of you woman read this, it's just a joke....................


I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep
her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't
face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a
bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does
a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me..
Anonymous

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a
restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' Henny Youngman

'I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.'
Sam Kinison

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage.'
James Holt McGavran

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second
one didn't.'
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit
it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. :mad2:
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have
mine.' :thumb:
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

"EQ" "EQ" "EQ" "EQ" "EQ" "EQ" our real outlet :beer::drunk:

 

:rofl:

 

thats great...

 

:rofl:
that awesome!!

I gotta sent that one to the misses :rofl:

 

Lets see,

'copy'

'paste'

'send'








Yup, no puntang for me this year now. :unsure:

 

:hmm:
LMFAO :thumb3:

 

Lmao those are great !

 

OMG Ryan that was hilarious!! Siggy's is the best one all married men are still trying to figure out and that Sam Kinnison one is one of his tamer remarks on marriage I think, lol!!

 

Us married men have to stick together, as long as our wive's allow us to!

 

that's funny as hell!!!!!

why are womans feet so small?

so they can stand closer to the sink

 

*insert the man song*

NOW I'LL GO AND DRINK BEER WHENEVER I wanna get in trouble...

NOW I'LL COME HOME WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY to sleep on the couch...

 

NOW A MANS GOTTA DO WHATS A MANS GOTTA DO AND IM GONNA DO what you tell me too BECAUSE IM TOP DOG but ive been nutered.... :cry2:

 

You're turning into Momo Ryan!

 

Drew,

That was below the belt! Look whose talking the wifey finally let you on the computer. I thought she had cut your hands off...................

 

Chris made him some new hands:imao::dribble::thumb2:

 

I'M THE KING OF MY CASTLE when your not around

I WEAR THE PANTS when I'm done with the laundry

DON'T EXPECT ANY FLOWERS FROM ME cause if I'm not mistaken', you prefer jewelery



great song.

 

Hahaha those are hilarious I got one


"Being divorced is better that quietly plotting someone's death"

 

WHEN I SAY JUMP you say yea right!!!

LMFAO Aaaaaaaahhhh!!!! such a great song!!! :worthy:

 

:rip::tropicalwind:

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

 

All the single guys should be made to read this. Then after their dumb asses get married they should reread this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :whistle: