I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang. ME: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. ME: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T .. ME: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T .. ME: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T. May I speak to Mr. Byron, please? ME: May I ask who is calling? AT&T: This is AT&T. ME: OK, hold on. (At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.) ME: Hello? AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron? ME: May I ask who is calling, please? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T . ME: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T . ME: The phone company? AT&T: Yes, sir. ME: I thought you said this was AT&T. AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company. ME: I already have a phone. AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day? AT&T (getting a little excited at this point by my interest): Yes, sir, that's right! Twenty-four hours a day! ME: 7 days a week? AT&T: That's right. ME: 365 days a year? AT&T: Yes, sir. ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing! AT&T: We think so! ME: That's quite a sum of money! AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up. ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance? AT&T: Excuse me? ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute. AT&T: What are you talking about? ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment. AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute. ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know. AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for . ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor, please? AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary. ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold. (At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.) SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron? ME: Yeth? SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program. ME: Is This A T &T? SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is. ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan. SUPERVISOR: OK, no problem. I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you. ME: Thank you. (I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.) AT&T: Hello, Mr.. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan? ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother... AT &T: click....
Now that my daughter is beginning to speak I just give her the phone and then hang up after a minute.
Don - That is fuggin hilarious! I had my wife read the part of AT&T, and I read your part......We couldn't stop laughing! Too funny man!!!!! Nice work and quick thinking!!!! lol Chase
Wish I could take credit for that one! Its something my old man found somewhere. I just see it as worthy of sharing with everyone
Dude, that was fn hilarious. I read it to my wife too. She was wondering why I was laughing aloud. She always bugs me that I just say..no thanks and hang up lol. Drew's got a good idea though. Our little one is at that stage as well and she LOVES talking on the phone...mostly gibberish but that's perfect.
Me: I assume you work for commission, right? Them: Yes. Me: You want to end this now or waste 10 minutes of your sales time? Them: Have a nice evening.
