Things Employees Say to miss Work

Employee didn’t want to lose the parking space in front of his house.

Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.

Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was “all better now."

Employee donated too much blood.

Employee’s dog was stressed out after a family reunion.

Employee was kicked by a deer.

Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.

Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.

Employee’s wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.

Employee’s toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.

Employee was up all night because the police were investigating the death of someone discovered behind her house.

Employee’s psychic told her to stay home.

 

true story had some guy call in his exact words... can you tell the boss im gona be late i was doing my paper delivery job this morning as i was throwing a paper i shit my pants... sure no problem...by the way dont tell anyone man this is embarrassing... no problem... you know how that worked out for him

 

One of my employees left a message that she would not be in today because her friend's dad was being buried today (local burial)..:furious:

 

sorry i cant come in...my man junk is just too huge and lugging it around for 5 days a week is just too must stress....sorry

 

haha, larry, ive used that one before as well.

girlfriends dad.

 

Family, yes, even maybe girlfriend'd dad I could go with being out a day maybe 2.....and if she needed 2-3 hrs to go to this funeral that's fine..but not all day...and this is major payroll day for clients!!grrr

 

ah, i get ya. yes, all day is pretty fishy, did you ask to see the corpse?

 

I called in RICH one time... well., when I win the lotto!!!

 

Lol! Those are good Nevin!

 

hahahaha

 

i once called the boss and told him that i woke up drunk and was not sure where i was after partying late on a sunday night after going to the semi-final round at the winter nationals then had to get back to the track and drive the semi home. lol

 

At 40 yrs old, the only time I have EVER missed a day of work was last years bout with stomach flu... 5 straight days on the toilet. I'll have to say my workers really impressed me while I was gone. I never missed a during college either.

 

I once called in sick because my car was broken ( it legitimately was ) and my boss didn't believe me, so he sent a co-worker 30 miles to call my bluff. It was a great laugh on him but sucked that I had to go to work then

 

:rofl:

 

Employee: Boss I can't come in today
Boss: Why not
Employee: Ive got knee problems
Boss: Knee problems???
Employee: Yeah, my dik keeps drippin on it!