When GOD created cops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'The SRTConnection Lounge' started by diegochrysler, Dec 27, 2007.

  1. diegochrysler

    diegochrysler Jose"GR8CHORIZO"Jalapeno

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    WHEN GOD MADE COPS
    > >
    > >When the Lord was creating cops, he was into his sixth
    > >day of overtime when
    > >an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of
    > >fiddling around on this
    > >one."
    > >
    > >And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this
    > >order? A peace officer
    > >has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the
    > >dark, scale walls,
    > >enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch, and
    > >not wrinkle his
    > >uniform."
    > >
    > >"He has to be able to sit in an undercover car all day
    > >on a stakeout, cover
    > >a homicide scene that night, canvass the neighborhood
    > >for witnesses, and
    > >testify in court the next day."
    > >
    > >"He has to be in top physical condition at all times,
    > >running on black
    > >coffee and half-eaten meals.
    > >And he has to have six pairs of hands."
    > >
    > >The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs
    > >of hands... no way."
    > >
    > >"It's not the hands that are causing me problems,"
    > >said the Lord, "it's the
    > >three pairs of eyes an officer has to have."
    > >
    > >"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.
    > >
    > >The Lord nodded. One pair that sees through a bulge in
    > >a pocket before he
    > >asks, "May I see what's in there, sir?" (When he
    > >already knows and wishes
    > >he'd taken that accounting job.) "Another pair here in
    > >the side of his head
    > >for his partners' safety. And another pair of eyes
    > >here in front that can
    > >look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say,
    > >'You'll be all right ma'am,'
    > >when he knows it isn't so."
    > >
    > >"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and
    > >work on this
    > >tomorrow."
    > >
    > >"I can't," said the Lord, "I already have a model that
    > >can talk a 250 pound
    > >drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a
    > >family of five on a
    > >civil service paycheck."
    > >
    > >The angel circled the model of the peace officer very
    > >slowly, "Can it
    > >think?" she asked.
    > >
    > >"You bet," said the Lord. "It can tell you the
    > >elements of a hundred crimes;
    > >recite Miranda warnings in its sleep; detain,
    > >investigate, search, and
    > >arrest a gang member on the street in less time than
    > >it takes five learned
    > >judges to debate the legality of the stop ... and
    > >still it keeps its sense
    > >of humor. This officer also has phenomenal personal
    > >control. He can deal
    > >with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession
    > >from a child abuser,
    > >comfort a murder victim's family, and then read in the
    > >daily paper how law
    > >enforcement isn't sensitive to the rights of criminal
    > >suspects."
    > >
    > >Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across
    > >the cheek of the
    > >peace officer. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I
    > >told you that you were
    > >trying to put too much into this model."
    > >
    > >"That's not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear."
    > >
    > >"What's the tear for?" asked the angel.
    > >
    > >"It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades,
    > >for commitment to that
    > >funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for
    > >justice."
    > >
    > >"You're a genius," said the angel.
    > >
    > >The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there," he
    > >said.
    > >
    > >Author Unknown
     
  2. Bud

    Bud GG EVO IX MR

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    Good one Ryan! I got pulled over yesterday and the officer let me off because I was in the military. I would have told the story sucked if I had received a ticket! LOL