Marriage humor

I thought this was funny.

These are pretty good.

Wife: "What are you doing?"

Husband : "Nothing."

Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."

Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

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Wife : "Do you want dinner?"

Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"

Wife : "Yes and no."

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Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"

Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."

Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"

Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"

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Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."

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Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."

Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."

Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

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A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"

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Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

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Girl to her boyfriend: "One kiss and I'll be yours forever."

The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."

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A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or

my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."

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It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all.

The world is but a canvas to the imagination.

" I had the right to remain silent.. but I didn't have the ability"



Bill.