Post Whore Thread

sweeeeeeet...get drunk and black out...so nobody remembers the "fun" you guys are having hahahaha :supergay:

 

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i'll drink my ass off but i never black out or wake up with a hanover

i do manage to wake up drunk!!! :drugs:

 

Winter Driving
Front wheel drive, rear wheel drive and four wheel drive cars behave differently. Be certain that you know how your particular type of car will react to driving situations and to your inputs.

In icy conditions, do one thing at a time. Brake in a straight line. "Coast" through corners on a steady throttle and accelerate when you are through the corner.

Centrifugal force is your enemy, especially under slippery conditions. It increases with speed and/or reduced radius in a corner.

Beware of wide tires. They will hydroplane sooner than narrow tires due to the wider contact patch.

If you should lose control remember the correct skid control techniques for your type of car. Look where you want to go, steer where you want to go and release the gas pedal gently to allow the contact patches to regain traction. DON'T BRAKE!

www.drivingdynamics.com

http://www.modernracer.com/tips/winterdriving.html

 

Time Gets Better With Age

I learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing "Silent Night".

Age 5

I learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.

Age 7

I learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.

Age 9

I learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.

Age 12

I learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.

Age 14

I learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.

Age 15

I learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.

Age 24

I learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.

Age 26

I learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there.

Age 29

I learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.

Age 30

I learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.

Age 42

I learned that you can make some one's day by simply sending them a little note.

Age 44

I learned that the greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others.

Age 46

I learned that children and grandparents are natural allies.

Age 47

I learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

Age 48

I learned that singing "Amazing Grace" can lift my spirits for hours.

Age 49

I learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.

Age 50

I learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

Age 51

I learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.

Age 52

I learned that regardless of your relationship with Your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.

Age 53

I learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.

Age 58

I learned that if you want to do something positive for Your children, work to improve your marriage.

Age 61

I learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

Age 62

I learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands.

You need to be able to throw something back.

Age 64

I learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

Age 65

I learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.

Age 66

I learned that everyone can use a prayer.

Age 72

I learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

Age 82

I learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that “human-touch” holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

Age 90

I learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Age 92

I learned that you should pass this on to someone you care about. Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile and reflect.

 

5-Minute Management Course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

 

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

 

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

 

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be able to sit and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

 

nev i think you should give your keyboard and mouse a break...your gonna short them out at this pace! hahaha

 

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

 

Do I need to be jealous? OR do I have to send you naughty pictures to get your attention

LOL

 

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!



This ends the 5-minute management course.

 

your talking to the guy who has 7 fingers and 2 thumbs:woot:

 

yes you need to be very jealous because im :king:

and steve is my oop:


:woot:

 

yeah i think you need to send the naughty pics :bigwink:...you dont need to be jealous...but you should send them anyways hahaa :happy:

 

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This weekend E-Fares
Sample fares are for travel departing after 7 p.m. on Friday (February 1, 2008), or anytime on Saturday (February 2, 2008), and returning anytime on Monday (February 4, 2008) or Tuesday (February 5, 2008). Additional taxes and fees apply.*

From: To: Each-way:
Aspen (ASE) Los Angeles (LAX) $105**
Baltimore (BWI) Chicago (ORD) $94**
Cody/Yellowstone (COD) Denver (DEN) $75**
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Los Angeles (LAX) New York (JFK) $142
New York (LGA) Chicago (ORD) $104
Portland, OR (PDX) San Francisco (SFO) $88**
Washington, D.C. (IAD) Chicago (ORD) $90
Washington, D.C. (IAD) San Jose, CA (SJC) $142
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i thought you were gonna say something else about what your doing with those fingers and tumbs! hahahahaha

we allllll know where we rank here buddy hahaha...and we AAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL know who king ho is :king: