Wife 1.0

Discussion in 'The SRTConnection Lounge' started by Cheatek, Jan 15, 2008.

  1. Cheatek

    Cheatek SRT once, SRT always

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    Old, but still good (especially if married) ...



    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 9.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going To The Bar 7.5, and Softball 3.0.

    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my other favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 9.0 but the uninstall doesn't seem to work on Wife 1.0.

    Please help!

    Thanks,
    Troubled User


    REPLY:

    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men often complain about.

    Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 9.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 9.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge, the program files from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 9.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7 to alleviate your program problems.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance! Wife 1.0 does come with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook it 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 6.9. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support
     
  2. StevoSRT

    StevoSRT Moderator

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    hahahahaha...i like secretary 6.9 hahahaha
     
  3. 1bad4dr

    1bad4dr Mr. Meany

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    lol oldie but goodie.
     
  4. StevoSRT

    StevoSRT Moderator

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    gotta bust out the floppy disk...and insert it into the drive hahahahaha
     
  5. 1bad4dr

    1bad4dr Mr. Meany

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    Floppy? hmmm not with the Mega Hardrives available. dahahahaha:hypno:
     
  6. StevoSRT

    StevoSRT Moderator

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    my hard drive is measured in TERABYTES!!!!!! hahahaha
     
  7. DragginWagon

    DragginWagon Full Access Member

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    Is it possible to reformat? Defragmenting help at all?
     
  8. Cheatek

    Cheatek SRT once, SRT always

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    Lol, not from my experience! They only cause NAG NAG 9.5 to launch sooner!! :doh:
     
  9. 1bad4dr

    1bad4dr Mr. Meany

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    i think you have a one of those worm viruses. lol
     
  10. 1bad4dr

    1bad4dr Mr. Meany

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    Pull the power plug out and reboot system.
     
  11. SRT8bby

    SRT8bby Full Access Member

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    Ctrl + Alt + Del.....................
     
  12. SRT8bby

    SRT8bby Full Access Member

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    Escape, escape....

    Press "any" key!!! I can't find the "any" key!!!!!!
     
  13. Cheatek

    Cheatek SRT once, SRT always

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    Oh he's got a virus all right!!

    Tried it.

    Tried it.

    Tried it.

    They all cause the operating system to :rip:
     
  14. srt-4chick

    srt-4chick Silver Supporting Members

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    this is too funny...I love it...
     
  15. nevinsrt

    nevinsrt Getaway driver for hire

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    Nag Nag 9.5.

    LMFAO holy crap :rofl: