Well I am kinda new

Its been a very long time for me on the Connection so where to begin.

A year ago at this time I laid in a hospital bed hooked up to all kinds of gadgets and stuff wondering what the hell had just happened over the past two years of my life. A lot of this was my fault for just saying fuck it I don't need a doctor and when I needed a doctor that doctor threw anti depressents at me and that was not the cause at all. Hell you really start to believe you are crazy. I wanted to die. The day I left the hospital last January I weighed 88 pounds, but I was alive. When you knock on deaths doorstep you don't appreciate how much it means to be alive when you get that second chance.

During those dark days of 2008, I was lost. Yep, I could pretend with the best of em, but damn I just could not keep it up any longer. I thought about hiring a few people here and there, but I kept coming back to the same dude all the time and that was Scott 1fst4dr. This was probably the best move I have ever made. As I got sicker and sicker the harder it was to function and the worse things became for me to deal with customers and day to day business. In other words my business was suffering because I could not mind the store any longer. Scott stepped in, but I put him in a horrible position.

It took me most of 2009 to get myself back to where I think I should be as a human being. I went thru a shit load of radiation in the summer, and man was it a bitch, and I was a bitch too to everyone around me! Damn I have to tell you I feel very lucky that I have the close group of people around me at work. I also gotta tell you that Ron was always there to make me laugh too. He knew some of what was going on and at Spring Fest Ron in 2008 I almost started crying when you and I were talking and you pulled me aside, telling me you know we are here for you. I have always been a stubborn bitch and never do I like to have people see me weak. Ron always has had that sixth sense and Ron I avoided you like the plague because I was afraid. Damn I was afraid maybe I was bonkers. I didn't want to let the people down in the community who lifted me and my business up in late 2006 when it was our last resort.

Well I am getting stronger every day and I am planning on being back involved again on a lot of the boards once more. Maybe not on the business front so much as Scott has the covered, but damn I miss my friends, and what friends I have made in the LX community.

I have to tell you all too, that things are not still all suger plums and fairies. Because of my lack of ignoring my health many things slipped. I am responsible for these things, and I am doing everything in my power to make things right on many different fronts be it at home and here at work. Many who have been disappointed by me on the personal front I have reached out to. One the business front there was a lot of catch up being done in November and December, there has been more that went outbound when we came back this week from break.

Happy New Year to all! I have to tell you guys, that I am very excited to for this New Year to start because it is the first time in many years that I feel hope once more. Even in the darkest of hours the light is there waiting for you to open your eyes.

Heidi

 

I love you too dumpling hahahha. Scott was giving you a hard time for that, but hell I call my little Codii dumpling and that is a term of endearment.

Pebbles (Scott) on the other hand :ronlove: Well it could be worse right SJ?? :dancing:

 

tears rolling everytime the old jina bomb drops hahahahahaa.

 

good seeing you before the holidays Chris. Glad to know you are staying busy.

 

:thanks: